Corrections and Clarifications by Sally Quilford
We apologise profusely to relatives of those featured on our obituaries page last week for the mistakenly placed advertisement promoting Bury’s Excavation Services.
In last week’s issue we stated that the winner of the Sexy Legs Competition, Ms Sandra Pilkingon, was 92 years old. Ms Pilkington is in fact only 29.
We once again apologise for featuring Bury’s Excavation Services on the obituaries page. We assure readers this will not happen again and that the person responsible for the previous instance had been dismissed, but unfortunately had the keys to the editor’s office.
Graham Bury of Bury’s Excavation Services has asked us to clarify that his firm does not dig up dead bodies, not even for large amounts of money.
On the 29th May 2007, we reported that the Dog Show was won by a West Highland White Terrier, the bitch Cynthia Adams. In fact the winner was Princess Cassandra MacDonald, owned by Cynthia Adams, who we are reliably informed is not a bitch.
Graham Bury wishes us to point out that he doesn’t bury bodies either, and suggest interested parties contact a qualified funeral director. He will contact the police if anyone else asks him to dispose of a corpse.
Apologies: We understand that due to misprinting a telephone number, callers to an impotence support hotline were connected to a chatline run by Svetlana Sparkles.
In last week’s issue, we reported on the case of the Crown v Tyrone Travis, in which Master Travis is accused of harassing the owner of Bury’s Excavation Services, the late Mr Graham Bury, who recently died from a stress related illness. Tyrone’s mother, Miss Leona Travis has informed us that she does not have five children by eight different fathers. She has eight children by five different fathers.
Further to the sex chatline fiasco, Mr Percy Robinson (87) has assured us that no apology is necessary and that he and Svetlana hope to marry when her visa comes through.
