Local News by Kevin Wilson
Three hundred non smokers were arrested for not smoking in the town centre. Police said they were not smoking at bus stops, on park benches and in supermarket car parks.
Chief Superintendent Ivor Uniform said: ‘If people choose not to smoke, they should move into a confined public space’Grandmother Letitia Cucumber had to be physically restrained from jumping off the pier. She was keen to try 'tombstoning', which involves jumping into water from anything above three feet. It was pointed out to her that the tide was out. She was taken to hospital where she promptly jumped into the bath and broke her leg.
In sports news, Manchester United have signed Terry Tevez, brother of Carlos Tevez. Terry is expected to be born in six months’ time. His parents are said to be delighted to have received an offer of £20, to be increased subject to international appearances.
Terry attracted United’s interest after his mum revealed he had been kicking a lot in the womb. United’s chief scout Gettam Young said: “You have to move quickly to get the best young talent from around the world.”In the world of entertainment, television companies have stopped making reality television programmes because nobody believes what they're seeing.
